Keep the house neat, make all the beds.”
“Wipe counters, sweep floors.”
That’s what my real estate agent says.
I do as I’m told, the house is show ready.
My phone keeps ringing, the showings are steady.
I’ve scrubbed and washed,
You could eat off the floor.
I know the latch on the screen door is broken,
But I can’t do anymore.
Will this buyer want it? Will mine be the one?
Holy smokes I hope so,
Selling a house is no fun.
I can’t keep up, there’s too much to clean.
I yell “Pick up your toys” they yell back, “Mom, you’re so mean.”
Where else can we go?
Driving around with kids and the dog is my daily routine.
Did I mention they’re late? Agent doesn’t leave a card.
Lights on, doors left open
Who knew it’d be this hard?
“How old is the furnace? Were the windows replaced too?”
Buyers say they just want to move in and have nothing to do.
Showing after showing enthusiasm starts to fade
Is it too much to ask? Couldn’t an offer be made?
The worst is the showings they want right away.
We want to sell the joint, so what else can I say?
“That’s totally fine, of course, c’mon in”
They’re gone in two minutes.
We won’t be seeing them again.
Ours wasn’t the house to make their hearts sing
I get it, it’s cool, but…here’s the thing
This house better sell and it better sell quick
Turns out I’m faint-hearted, my skin’s not so thick.
We’ve got a showing today
Everyone out of the house.
The husband’s been here once,
Now he’s bringing his spouse.
The phone rings again, don’t tell me,
It’s my agent, “we have an offer!”
My smile is glowing.
The offer we’ve received
“It’s nearly full price.”
Please say that again,
Go ahead tell me twice!
The offer you say,
It’s rock solid too?
This is music to my ears,
How could it be, with just this one call,
The house selling thing?
It’s not so bad after all.
Wiped from my memory, the stress and the hassle,
Me in my mind
Moved into my next castle!
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